Personal Lifestyle . Are you feeling used lately? Do you think that people around you are taking you for granted? They use you as a mean for their own business and do not understand that whatever you are doing is not because you were born to do that instead you are taking out time and putting a lot of effort to do what they require you to do.

Personal Lifestyle: How to Set Your Own Boundaries

What we call a human is a personality having traits of kindness, helping nature, cooperating and being a helping hand to other humans. Researches and studies show that this helps to pawn and minimize the negative traits such as that of selfishness and competitiveness for the sake of competition only.  Being helpful and cooperative awakes a sense of usefulness and content. It makes a human social.

Although giving and being helpful is a basic trait that makes you a complete human. But excess of anything is bad for you. You have to make it clear to yourself that you should help other but not let yourself be used and be helpful to somebody that he not only do not give anything back in return but also doesn’t even pay any heed or value to what you do for them. They become parasites dwelling over your help every time they need you.

If so, it’s time to sit back, relax and think. You should think about how to set your boundaries to an extent where giving and helping are not so far-fetched that they are getting into the boundary of being unhealthy for you.  In a book titled “Unhealthy helping: A psychological guide to overcoming codependency, enabling, & other dysfunctional giving”, the author has discussed about the boundaries and limits and how to evaluate and differentiate healthy helping from unhealthy one.

We have to clarify ourselves that person needing help is either in real need for help or is he seeking dependency and avoiding responsibility on purpose. And after recognizing if you refrain from helping that person you may be also ending a relationship because people might get angry and disturbed that you are not helping anymore.

While defining your limits you will first have to ask yourself as to how and why did it occur to you to set limits at the first place. You will clarify to yourself that how is this helping not helpful to you or the other person, what you are losing in the process and what negative gain is there for that person.

If you get to set boundaries get ready to face the little bit of the consequences as it is evident. You would feel sad and bad, you may experience loss of relationship because its part of the process and you should bear it calmly as it is not going to last long. But all in all it would be a win/win situation for you. Your life would be better and smooth n healthier. So think now and take a step …